Aunty MVP- Advice Coloumn

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    Hi Aunty I am Rachel, a local HK Chinese. I am Married to a Indian man who is from Pune. His mother is a typical and old style Indian lady, whenever she visits us, she expect me to do clean the home and other household things. I am working in a very big bank on top position. What shall one do to adjust when married in a mix culture?

    Hi Rachel, First of all, remember every woman has her personal issues and emotions which, sometimes it is not dealt in good time, therefore, gradually it mounts up. The only channel is to vent out on another women, daughter is an easy target. It appears your mother in law has not been able to accept her sons decision of inter-caste marriage besides, she sounds very orthodox. You have two options, first take her out for a nice meal, compliment her for raising a nice son. Praise her good qualities and her appearance. Occasionally buy her a gift, this will create some bonding, share your own interests with her. You both can go shopping you will get to know each other’s likes and dislikes. In addition, explain to her very respectfully the nature of your work. Furthermore, you are unable cope with house chores and pressure at work. If this does not work, second option is talk to your husband and take his support. Finally, hire a domestic helper.


    Hi Aunty I am Priya born and raised up in India. After Completing Graduation from Mumbai I got hitched with Varun my college mate, it is an love marriage. We shifted to Hong Kong. Initial three years were very good but later Varun start complaining for many things, he start looking for personal space rather than accompany me, though he is a good father but sometimes adjustment become the necessity cause of kids only. So, What is the best way to deal with my partner’s lack of interest?

    Hi Priya, in your case is seems there is a lack of communication. He may have work pressure which, he is probably holding back. Sit and reason it out with him, share your feelings, let him know his behaviour is causing you pain and feeling of being dejected. Ask him if there is anything you can do to change the situation. Just make sure you seek balance between things he likes without being over whelmed This could be a temporary phase so my suggestion is to be patient. Best wishes!


    Hello aunty I am Karan living in HK with my family. My cousin Shashank and his wife we found them as happy couple, they are staying Hong Kong since long. Shashank want to have quality time but his spouse believe in creating memories and keeping post on social media every time. Though Shashank does not have problem but still more of her time she give to social media as being a public figure. So, can you elaborate How does social media affect romantic relationships? And what one should do to keep the relationship on track?

    Hi Karan, Social media is very addictive. Although, social media has many positive advantages, potentially it can cause a havoc on a relationship. Lack of connection, conflict arising from many issues, feeling of hurt and comparison between spouses. There is not much your friend can do. He has one choice to join his wife to get an idea what is she seeking for happy relationship or disaster. Ask him to share his feelings with his wife, that he wants to live a real life and not fall prey into unreal. With open communication half the battle is won.


    I am Kiara staying Hong Kong since eleven years , I am a women who possess more emotional values with every relationship. In this practical world I keep on growing my values each day. But sad part is that I got emotionally hurt every time by my surroundings I.e. my friends and relative’s action or spoken words. Which give me stress and sometimes I am unable to manage my daily routine life. I feel like to isolate myself from everyone. Aunty How should I overcome this thing? Why I am mentally drained?

    Dear Kiara, You seem to be aware of you issues, that is a good sign, If you wish to bouncy back, you have great potential. Your friends and relative are not important only yourself, do not give others the privilege to judge you. Believe in yourself you are a masterpiece of God’s creation. You accept and trust yourself and be in control of your life. Take time to love and take care of yourself. Morning affirmation I love myself; I am a worthy; I am happy; I am a giver; I am peaceful; I am calm. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson


    Hello Aunty, My name is Sara I am phillippines I am studying and working in HK. I met kshitij two years before as a friend later it became more than friend relationship. He keeps meeting me but still when things looks change but he did not admit, I tried talking him many time he moulded the topic but he says I don’t keep expectation from you?

    Dear Sara, Wake up dear. It means he is not interested in you anymore. Move on with your life, find someone caring and loving. I suggest don’t fall into relationship until you are sure of each other. Good Luck!


    Myself a dad named Aryan, living HK born in Delhi, My father was an retired Army person. So, disciplines and etiquette were the first lesson taught to us by him. I always wanted to became software Engineer and moved to Hong Kong after completing my masters from Pune. I have a 6 year son who adopting and learning HK Culture. I always try to teach him Hindi also and tell about India but I found him not interested.So, what can I done to make him teach the core values and Indian lifestyle also? marriage.

    Dear Aryan core values come from role models. If you are observing discipline and etiquette at home that is good enough You are in HK, your son is surrounded by friends in school. Socializing with friends is essential. How can you separate his school life besides, he is only 6 years old If you speak in Hindi with him and watch some cartoons as well as other light Hindi programs. Believe me he will show interest in his own time. Best wishes in your efforts!


    If you ever need any advice come to Aunty for help. Please send us your questions by email to adesiflava@gmail.com with subject line : Aunty MVP In Love, Light & Healing

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