At times, you might need someone to just listen and help you cope with your problems. Aunty is here to help!
Questions:
1) My name is Gayatri, and I live with my family in Tung Chung. Recently I lost my very close and best friend in India due to Covid. She was only 36 years old and unmarried. Since childhood, she was my best friend, and we went to the same school, same college, and even the same University. I wasn’t closer to anyone else except her. Since she has gone, I have been getting dreams about her almost every night. Sometimes the dreams are pleasing, and sometimes it’s about her death and funeral, and she is shouting at me that I didn’t even attend her last rites. I am happy to get her in my dreams so often, but now it’s getting too much. I love her, miss her, and want her to be remembered with our good memories and not come in a very depressing way in my nightmares. Please can you advise some practical solution to this problem?
Dear Gayatri,
Negative dreams of your loved one are common after loss…. After a one can expect you are experiencing many negative emotions and expect many of your dreams to reflect that. In my experience, many people who have negative dreams of the deceased are having issues with their unresolved anger or guilt. Let us analyze what such a dream can mean and understand whether or not it has a role to play in real life.
Dreaming about death is often considered unpleasant, and rightfully so, because it suggests bereavement. However, it can also have multiple meanings.
In simple words, death marks the end of someone or something. It could either be good or bad. Nonetheless, the end is a reminder of a new beginning. So, treat it as a silver lining to the dark cloud. And if you miss those people you love a lot, then get in touch with them, and stay connected. You may consider healing therapy as an option.
Dear concerned wife,
Being betrayed by your partner can induce rage to be devastating. In your confused state, your first instinct may be to punish your mate by trash-talking him to friends. In your case, you have thought of taking revenge by having an affair to get even. Thus You may get a temporary sense of satisfaction from these sorts of actions. Still, ultimately they can work against you, keeping you in a state of anger instead of focusing on healing and moving on, alone or together. Think before you tell your family, as well. They will likely have strong opinions about what you should do—leave or stay. But nobody else understands what goes on in another person’s marriage. While you are pondering how you’re going to proceed, it’s best to keep the details private and perhaps get professional advice.
Talk to your partner and hear his side of the story; ask him what drove him to plunge into this affair and have an illegitimate child. Share with him your emotions and the consequence of his act on his other children and the whole family. We all deserve another chance. We all make mistakes; give him love and understanding. Hear him out, refrain from digging a bigger negative hole. Betraying your husband is not the solution think of the consequence someday; your children may point the finger at you for driving their father away.
Don’t walk the path of destruction; work hard on what you want with a positive mindset and appropriate support and advice. “When things go wrong, don’t go with them.” –
Dear Radha,
It appears you have undergone every test possible to conceive. Your last option is to go for surrogate motherhood. Please note this procedure may entail many factors such as,
Mother is at least 21 years old
It is best if she has already given birth to at least one healthy baby, so they understand firsthand the medical risks of pregnancy and childbirth and the emotional issue which is involved;
Have passed a psychological screening by medical health professional to uncover any issues with giving up the baby after birth;
Sign a legal contract about their role and responsibilities with the pregnancy, such as prenatal care and agreeing to give you the baby after birth.
Is the contract enforceable should the surrogate mom change her mind?
Surrogate mothers should have their own doctor during pregnancy rather than use yours.
Both you and your partner should clearly understand what your decision entails. There should be no doubt, fear, or guilt on this journey, as well as consider your anxiety for nine months of the weight of the baby’s arrival.
On this note, have you both considered adopting a child? In my opinion, it is a gift you are offering to the world.
“Little souls find their way to you, whether they’re from your womb or someone else’s”
Dear Anonymous,
It’s nice to know you are well settled in your career, and you need guidance to find a suitable marriage partner match. Your question doesn’t sound simple, yet it is rather tough and important.
I have understood your concerns, There can never be a perfect match or married life.
It seems you want a charming, handsome guy who is well settled in life. There is nothing wrong with that. It is every girl’s dream. Remember “all that glitters is not gold.” My suggestion is drop the external looks get to know the person’s inner qualities, if you find him compatible and if there is good chemistry between you both, then guide him to climb the ladder of success.
Gradually things will fall into place. In addition, if you believe in astrology then that may help. Finally, be open minded and mingle with more friends/ colleagues.
Keep yourself in prayer.
If you ever need any advice come to Aunty for help. Please send us your questions by email to adesiflava@gmail.com with subject line : Aunty MVP
In love light & healing,
